By Monique Gutierrez
It’s no secret I enjoy planning a good event; especially a beautiful, dreamy wedding! But what I enjoy even more than that, is marriage. See, once the hustle and bustle of a wedding is all over, the dance floor is empty, the chair and linens are put away and you’re basically stripped of everything you have been working so hard on for over a year, you are left with something so much greater than you ever imagined: your spouse. And that’s when the fun really starts. And let’s not forget to mention work. Because let’s be real, marriage is work—and you show up every day. No calling in sick here!
I’ve been married to my best friend for 5 years now. The man who makes my heart skip a beat and loves breakfast for dinner!
While I had been enthusiastically awaiting the title of wife, it came with a weight I was not expecting (and I’m not talking about the 15lbs you automatically put on the second after you get married!). No, not a bad weight, but a good weight. I felt a new responsibility to my husband and my marriage. That responsibility honestly scared me. This was compounded by the fact that some of the best, strongest, people I know have stood where I stood and were unable to make marriages work.
I have always shared my fears with Dave, and although he didn’t offer any answers or solutions, somehow, the fear seemed to ebb away. I felt safe. I think it was the realization that this weight and responsibility was not mine to carry alone.
Marriage is a job for two. Knowing he had my back, and I had his, and we were both standing guard over our marriage first and foremost. Having a partner who understands that our marriage is precious is an invaluable gift.
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT)
This was one of the verses we had our pastor incorporate into our wedding ceremony. It reminded us then, and now, that we are not only making a commitment to each other, but a commitment to God—inviting God to always be center of our triple braided cord.
I am sure there will be much more to figure out as the road unfolds before us. Right now, the biggest thing I have learned is that marriage is about balance. Each day is a fresh opportunity to strike that balance. Meaning, a day can be horrible, but that does not mean anything for the next day, or the day after. We are constantly given the opportunity to re-set. While this is wonderful, it also means we cannot set auto pilot. With a marriage being made of two people constantly growing and evolving, it is our responsibility to remain vigilant and that we stay on the same path. So today, I encourage you to do the following:
Give your spouse an extra tight squeeze
Acknowledge that it is okay to evolve and grow. It’s necessary.
If you haven’t done so, invite God to be the center of your marriage.
Invest in your marriage. Maintain it. A great resource to start is our Marriage Conference.
Plan a date night, and keep it!
Always, and I mean ALWAYS, kiss each other goodnight.
Say I Love You.
One last verse for you to meditate on, and you’ve probably read it countless times. But I urge you to break up the verse and practice each individual action.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” 1 Corinthian 13: 4-7
From my heart to yours,
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