By Pastor John Brito
We get married to be happy. This is a good thing. But we run in to problems when we gauge the quality of our marriage by the level of happiness that we feel. Doing so only emphasizes our selfish tendencies by focusing our attention on what we’re getting out of our relationship. The danger in this approach is that it makes our commitment to our marriage contingent on how our spouse makes us feel.
But I want you to consider that God is not preoccupied with whether we’re happy in our marriage. He is interested in how well we are learning to love our spouse. I have Christian couples tell me, “I am not happy in my marriage.” And I think to myself, “So what?”
What are we doing to love our spouse? What are we doing to change, to become the man or woman our spouse needs us to be? God is interested in how we love our spouse because this reflects how Christ-like we are becoming. Therefore, Ephesians 5:25 says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” (NLT)
The more we sacrifice ourselves to become the person that our spouse needs, the more he or she will become what we desire them to be. We learn this from Jesus. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.” (NLT)
Did you get that? Jesus became what we needed—a savior. And as a result, we have become what he desired—holy, clean and washed, without spot or wrinkle or blemish.
We must stop complaining about what our spouse is not and start becoming what our spouse needs, so that he or she may become what we desire. Love is reciprocated. 1 John 4:19 says that “We love because he first loved us.” (ESV) Happiness follows.
What do you think? Please share in the comment section.
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