By Melissa Brito
Why me? Why is God allowing this to happen to ME. Why isn’t God stepping in and stopping this from happening? Why is He allowing MY life to fall apart? Doesn’t He know that I will NOT be the same after this?
Do any of these questions look familiar? They sure do to me. I asked myself and God these questions during the beginning of my divorce. My heart was heavy and I couldn’t imagine what good could come from all this brokenness. I hoped and prayed and pleaded with God to not make this part of my story. I felt like it was unfair and how could He LET this happen to my life. I’m a decent person. I pray and seek God, go to church and tithe (when I remember). I just could not see how this had to be my life.
I don’t know why God has my life on this path. I will not pretend to understand or have it all together. I still ask for clarity, and understanding and for His peace to overcome me, especially when I don’t understand. All I know is that He is doing a work in my life. He’s growing, and pulling out the weeds. And for now, that is enough. It HAS to be enough. This verse comes to mind. “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who Love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28. He is working for our good, because he Loves us. Even if we don’t understand what that good is exactly.
I will not have all the answers and I need to learn to be ok with that because I’m trusting in the Almighty. He knows better than I do what I need and what I deserve. Even though I don’t understand what he’s doing or why, I need to be okay with it. To get to that point, I need to trust him and not depend on my own will. Submit to HIS perfect will. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
I’m a rough jagged stone right now and He is like the crashing waves beating off my rough edges and leaving me a smooth pebble. Growth is painful and change is difficult and they both are nasty but essential to a person. We need to grow and change. All I know is God is in control and I need to hold tight to what the Bible promises. It’s hard to let go and trust that there is a silver lining in all this chaos. That He is growing beauty from all this pain. During all of these growing pains I’m learning to praise him through it. To find the joy in the hurt, the glimmer of light in all this darkness. Some days it’s easier said than done.
The Lord is faithful and his unwavering love endures f-o-e-r-e-v-e-r. Take heart my weary friend.
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